Kierless Whispers

Keir Starmer’s latest attempt to project an aura of calm authority has culminated in what can only be described as a frantic game of musical chairs. Following the departure of his deputy, a move that was less a sacking and more a “strong suggestion” to fall on one’s sword, the Prime Minister unveiled a new cabinet. He declared this was “Phase Two” of his government, a phrase that suggests Phase One, a year of faffing about with the political furniture, was a wild success. The new line-up features a familiar cast, just in different costumes. Yvette Cooper, having bravely navigated the treacherous waters of the Home Office, is now tasked with foreign affairs, presumably to bring the same level of decisive action to global diplomacy that she did to the small boats crisis.
The reshuffle was announced as a bold step to “get a grip” on a government that, by all accounts, has the grip of a wet noodle. However, a closer look at the changes reveals a strategy that is less about forward momentum and more about sideways shuffling. David Lammy, a man whose portfolio now includes both Justice and Deputy Prime Minister, is surely considering whether his diary can handle the twin burdens of delivering a tough-on-crime message while simultaneously being available for all those important ribbon-cutting ceremonies. The message to the public is clear: we’re doing something, it’s just not entirely certain what that something is, or why it’s being done now.
With Reform UK nipping at his heels, Starmer’s gambit is to appear both in control and completely unfazed, a political tightrope act worthy of the circus. His administration is now focused on “delivery,” a promise that has been trotted out with all the regularity of a a bus that’s always late. The new Home Secretary, Shabana Mahmood, has already vowed that “nothing is off the table” when it comes to immigration, a wonderfully vague promise that could mean anything from putting asylum seekers in military barracks to simply drawing a larger-than-usual map on the wall. In this atmosphere of choreographed chaos, one can only assume “delivery” refers to the constant stream of new, equally un-concrete plans that seem to be the primary output of this government.