Prime Minister Starmer spent yesterday reminding us all of his political consistency, a quality so rare in today’s political landscape it must be preserved in a museum for future generations. In one breath, he was gravely concerned about the targeting of journalists in Gaza, a statement so profoundly middle-of-the-road it could have been painted on the tarmac of a zebra crossing. In another, he was announcing an expansion of the “deport now, appeal later” scheme, proving once and for all that when it comes to being a tough guy on immigration, he’s willing to borrow pages from every political playbook, including a few that were long since dog-eared and discarded.
The irony of a former Director of Public Prosecutions expanding a scheme that rushes through deportations before an appeal can be heard is, of course, not lost on anyone. It’s the kind of thing that makes you wonder if “due process” is now just a fun little pre-game ritual before the main event of “get ’em out.” It seems the government’s faith in “law-and-order solutions” is so strong they believe the best way to handle legal appeals is to have them take place from a different continent. It’s an innovative approach to justice, to be sure, and one that is certain to save a fortune on court-appointed airfare.
Meanwhile, in a statement that could only be described as a masterclass in diplomatic tightrope-walking, Starmer expressed his support for international efforts to bring peace to Ukraine, while simultaneously endorsing the American President’s leadership on the matter. It’s a tricky balancing act, backing a peace deal while also insisting it “must be built with Ukraine, not imposed upon it.” It’s akin to saying you fully support a chef’s new recipe, as long as you’re allowed to tell them what ingredients to use, what temperature to cook it at, and that you’re in charge of the final taste test. Just another day in the life of a Prime Minister who can be all things to all people, provided those people don’t ask for too much specificity.
Kierless Whispers 