Well, another day, another episode of the Sir Keir Starmer Show, where the main plot twist is the lack of any discernible plot. The latest headlines tell us that the Prime Minister is absolutely, definitely, without a doubt, maybe, going to do something about something. It’s all very exciting, like watching a chess match where both players are contemplating their first move for an entire day. We’ve heard whispers of a new policy, a fresh approach, or perhaps just a slightly different shade of beige. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off.
The indecision is so profound it’s almost a philosophy. Is a politician indecisive if they can’t decide to be indecisive? These are the deep, probing questions that keep the nation on the edge of its seat. One could argue that this paralysis is, in fact, a masterclass in political maneuvering—a way to avoid being wrong by never being right. It’s the ultimate form of political jiu-jitsu, where you use your opponent’s expectations of action against them by doing absolutely nothing. The public, like a perpetually disappointed parent, waits patiently for a decision that may or may not ever come.
In the end, we are left to ponder the great mystery of our time: what, exactly, is Sir Keir Starmer’s plan? Is it a brilliant, long-term strategy unfolding with the slow, deliberate pace of a glacier? Or is it more akin to a person trying to catch a greased watermelon in a swimming pool? The jury is still out, but the odds are leaning towards the latter. Until then, we will continue to be ruled by the most competent, indecisive government in the history of British politics.
A video on how the UK and U.S. governments interact is available on YouTube. President Trump & UK PM Keir Starmer talk Gaza and Ukraine in Scotland meeting
Kierless Whispers 