Prime Minister Keir Starmer has once again demonstrated his diplomatic prowess, this time by making a conditional promise to recognize a Palestinian state. It’s a bold strategy that has been met with both applause and condemnation, proving that no matter what he does, someone, somewhere, will be very, very cross. The move, which has been described as “brave” and “politically expedient,” is conditional on a series of steps being taken by Israel, essentially turning international diplomacy into a high-stakes game of “Simon Says.”
This approach has left many wondering about the finer points of international statehood. Will the newly-recognized state get a fun-sized flag? Will they be issued official passports, or will it be a “collect-your-own-stamps” system? And most importantly, who will be responsible for creating the official state anthem? The Spice Girls are, regrettably, unavailable.
In other news, while Starmer is busy with geopolitical chess, he’s also finding time to praise the England Lionesses after their Euros 2025 triumph. He’s hinting that “recognition is coming” for the team, which is a surprisingly straightforward statement for a politician. It’s almost as if he’s saying something direct and unequivocal, a stark contrast to his usual style of carefully-worded, non-committal pronouncements. One can only assume this means a new range of commemorative mugs is in the works, or perhaps a particularly sturdy set of coasters.
Kierless Whispers 